WA 5 draft 3

I was standing in my normal clothes, looking at the faded, cardboard box in my hands. Inside was Aunt Tiffany's wedding dress, and I was about to put it on, something I'd dreamed of doing since I was a little girl. Suddenly I felt nervous that I would rip it or trip when I was walking in it. "Lucy? You ready to try that thing?" called Morgan from where she was getting changed.

I stood behind the big wooden pews, looking around the church. It must have been time for the wedding to start by now - we'd been in here for most of the day, getting things set up. Lizzy and I had been stealing cookies from the caterers' plates when they weren't looking, but then Noah caught us and made us stop. Of course, Lizzy blamed the idea on me. She's always doing that. It's like she forgets that I'm older and smarter than her.

Besides, it was her idea.

Morgan helped me get the dress on and was now zipping up the back. It was tighter than I had expected, but it really was beautiful. It went down to my feet and the sleeves actually made my arms look good. Morgan had a handful of flowers that she was pinning to the veil before I put it on.

I've never seen Ethan look so nervous. He was standing in front of the mirror, combing through his hair with his fingers. We were in one of those little rooms that you have Sunday school in when you're a little kid. They creep me out, especially at night. Noah caught my eye and came down to brush my jacket off. I wonder if he was still mad about the cookie thing.

"You look beautiful, Lucy," Morgan gushed as I looked at myself in the mirror.

"I'm so glad Aunt Tiffany let me have this dress. It's so... elegant." I did look pretty good in it. I twirled around in front of the glass. 

"Aunt Lucy?" I glanced down at Lizzy, our flower girl, who was pouting. She had on a shiny pink dress and was holding a basket of rose petals. "Percy's here and he won't go away!"

First Noah, now Lizzy. Why is everyone acting so bossy today? Noah just made my job as a ring bearer way harder, and now Lizzy's tattling on me (again!) just because I wanted to see Aunt Lucy. I mean, I didn't even do anything wrong! Did I?

"You know you're not supposed to see me before I walk down the aisle, young man," I reproached Percy, who had shown up unexpectedly just as the guests started arriving. I thought I had told Noah to keep an eye on him.

Percy sighed and gave me a pout that could've given Lucy a run for her money. "Everyone's telling me what to do today. Why can't I just -?"

"Because Aunt Lucy said so," interrupted Lizzy in her best bossy voice. She loved watching him squirm. "Now go away."

Percy gave her a pretty nasty sneer. "Tattletale," he whispered.

I was so annoyed with Lizzy. She really is nothing but a big tattletale, plus she's always siding with whoever's yelling at me. I went stomping out of the room, hoping to make Aunt Lucy feel sorry for me. People were starting to arrive, I noticed.

All of a sudden, I heard running feet behind me and turned around just in time to see Lizzy come flying out of the room and tackle me furiously. We shrieked as we fell to the ground, punching and pulling hair.

I really, really, hated Lizzy at that moment.

WA 5 draft 2

Lucy, the bride, was getting her veil adjusted by her sister and maid of honor, Morgan. Her dress was pure white and very shiny, with long sleeves that flared out at the ends and a gauzy train with hydrangeas and yellow roses. It was a bit uncomfortable, but Lucy kept reminding herself, It's only one day. It's only one day. 

Finally Morgan was done toying with the veil and stood back to admire her sister in all her shiny white glory. "You look beautiful, Lucy."

Lucy shyly examined her reflection in the mirror. "I'm so glad Aunt Tiffany let me have this dress. It's so... elegant."

"Well, it's almost time," announced Morgan, checking her pilot watch, which she had cleverly concealed under the sleeve of her dark red, floor-length gown. 

"Aunt Lucy?"

Lucy glanced down at her flower girl, also known as her niece, nine-year-old Lizzy. She was wearing a pale pink dress with those puffy sleeves that itched like crazy. She clutching a basket of rose petals in her chubby fist. Her normally sweet little face was set into a petulant pout.

"Percy's here and he won't go away!"

"Percy..." Lucy planted her fists on her hips and glared at said ring boy, who was peering up at her hopefully.

"I just wanted to see what you looked like before you get married," he explained.

"You know you're not supposed to see me before I walk down the aisle, young man." 

Percy gave a martyr's sigh. "Everyone's telling me what to do today. Why can't I just...?"

"'Cause Auntie Lucy said so," sniffed Lizzy archly. "Now go away."

Percy sneered at her. "You're just a big tattletale." Lizzy's eyes grew wide with anger. Percy turned and shuffled out of the room. Lizzy ran out after him and suddenly a loud shriek erupted from the church. 

"Oh no," groaned Morgan, hurrying out to them.

WA 5 draft 1

Percy stood behind the rows of wooden pews in the tiny church. It was a beautiful Friday afternoon. The low autumn light was slanting in through the high stained-glass windows on the west long wall, sending patterns of gold-tinged spots of light onto the floor. On the far short wall there was a large rose window that was as deep blue as the sea. On Percy's side, there were no windows, only the simple oak double doors that were open slightly to allow a sweet-smelling autumn breeze inside. Percy sighed and rested his chin on his arms, inhaling the scent of dead leaves, books, and cheap furniture fabric. The wedding hadn't started yet, but it was very close; the guests had begun to arrive. Most of them Percy didn't even know. 

Percy sighed and entered the back room where Ethan, the groom, and Noah, his best man, where nervously preparing for the big "I do." The room was one of those sparsely-furnished and vaguely creepy "church function" rooms with white cinderblock walls, crappy folding chairs, a single faux-wooden table, and tiny windows. Percy hated being in these kinds of rooms at night. For the wedding, someone had set up a cracked full-length mirror on a tilting axis, the kind that would flip over at the slightest nudge. 

Noah spotted the ten-year-old and grinned. "Hey, little man. Don't get those clothes dirty before the wedding's over."

Percy sighed. "I'm not. When's the wedding gonna start?"

"It'll start when it starts."

Noah was always giving him answers like this. "But you always say that!"

"Hey, it's true." Noah was Ethan's elder by two years, twenty-nine (and a half) as opposed to Ethan's twenty-seven. He was also his brother. He had stuck to his little brother like glue in the past week, offering advice and moral guidance - at least that's what he said. It was all meaningless to Percy, their nephew and ring bearer. 

As Ethan nervous combed and re-combed his hair in the mirror, Noah squatted in front of Percy and brushed off the front of his sports jacket and tie. Then he spun the boy around and did the same with his back. Lastly, he pushed Percy's short, silky blond hair into place and picked up a light blue silk cushion that had been on the table. He handed it to Percy, who held it reverently like a priceless gold statuette. There were two lustrous silver rings nestled into the center like bird eggs. Percy liked his job. It made him feel important and the silk felt nice on his fingers. 

"Do not drop those," commanded Noah as he beheld his nephew. "You will be in so much hot water if you do."

Percy nodded, suddenly nervous. He swallowed drily as strains of organ music floated through the doorway. Ethan looked twice as nervous as him as he shuffled out the door with Noah behind him, grinning. Percy was left alone to make sure he got the rings to them on time. 

WA 4 draft 2

Dear President Obama,

My most sincere congratulations on your recent inauguration. You are living proof of the power of this country and it is incredible to live in a United States with a black president when, not long ago, most people thought it would never happen.

This is a time for the people of this country to work together and help one another through crises large and small, and they are certainly capable of and willing to do that. I recently witnessed this firsthand, the day before your inauguration. My family was involved in a major collision on I-78 outside of the modest town of Hamburg, Pennsylvania. All those involved lived, although I saw several people taken away on stretchers. The EMT workers, police and firemen, and the shelter volunteers were very efficient in their removal of people from the wreckage and supplying us with food and a place to stay while we contacted our insurance agent and got ahold of a rental car. They even replaced the booster seats of everyone who had little kids.

These people didn't have to help us. The fact that they not only chose to provide with our basic needs but also arranged for us to stay in a hotel and remove our baggage from the wrecked cars went above and beyond what I think most people were expecting. What I am concerned about, however, is if the people who had serious injuries and had to go to the hospital were able to afford the medical bills. Mr. President, almost 50 million Americans can't afford health care. It's a disaster compared to other countries like Canada, Russia, and most of western Europe, who have universal health care. Too many people go into debt because of staggering medical bills. Either their employers don't provide adequate coverage or they're self-employed, meaning they can't afford it altogether. I think the issue you should focus on within the first year of your presidency is making health care available to everyone, no matter how much money they make. People should not have to go broke because they can't afford a surgery or treatments for their child's illness. Getting sick or injured is not something people can control.

So, President Obama, I urge you, please: Help your people by making universal health care a reality. America can't function as a country if people are constantly inhibited by medical costs. And there are people out there who really deserve the right to afford their medical costs, like the very kind people in Hamburg.

Sincerely,

Tess Keena

WA 4 draft 1

Dear Mr. Obama,

Congratulations on your becoming President. There are many things I'd like to say to you, but I'm limited to 1,000 words in this assignment.

My family was recently part of a major accident on I-78 involving 23 cars and three trucks. We all lived and sustained minor injuries, but I saw several people, including the trucker who hit us, being taken away in stretchers. No one was killed, thankfully. This all happened the day before your inauguration. The EMT workers, firefighters, and shelter workers were amazingly efficient and well-supplied for taking care of the victims. They were very kind. One man even offered me his jacket because I lost mine in the crash.

This is a perfect example of how the people of America come together and help one another in times of crisis, which I know is something you focused on during your inaugural speech. The people who helped us were incredibly kind and they provided us with food and a place to stay while we got in touch with our insurance agent and obtained a rental car. They even replaced my younger brother's car seat. 

Even though our family didn't have to go to the hospital, there were many people who did and I have to wonder, with the state of our health insurance, if they were able to pay their medical bills. Almost 50 million Americans don't have health insurance. We cannot continue like this. Too many people go into debt because they can't pay their medical bills. Their employers don't provide insurance or they're self-employed, meaning they don't even have health care. I think an issue that you should address within the first year of your presidency is universal health care for every citizen. People should not have to go broke because they can't afford a surgery or pay for their children's illnesses. It's not something they can control.

So I'm asking you, President Obama, please: Help your people by making health care available to the poor and self-employed so that these people can continue helping one another and creating a strong bond of community throughout our country. 

WA 3 draft 2

Peace and war are usually considered opposites. However, I believe that warfare is a much simpler side of human nature than peace. I am not criticizing peace; on the contrary, I think humans should practice it more often. But I am also saying that it takes a great deal more thought and self-restraint to practice peace than it does to wage war. People don't have to do any thinking to pick up a rock and throw it at someone who makes them angry. But they have to think in order to not pick up that rock and just walk away. Therein lies the problem.

Animals are often at war with each other for different reasons - leadership of a group, mates, territory boundaries, ect. This is natural behavior for them. Fighting is a basic instinct, a way to defend or prove themselves. The one who wins the fight wins the prize. Animals are much more simple-minded than humans in their pursuit of basic needs. If someone has what they want, they fight for it. They don't negotiate or offer to share. However, most animals (sea mammals and primates excluded) lack a developed neocortex. This is the part of the brain that can reason and rationalize. This is the logical portion of the brain. Because most animals don't have it, they can't predict the outcomes of their disputes beyond the very obvious - their most basic goals. But animals who do have neocortexes are capable of reasoning and developing language and rules. Humans have the largest neocortexes. We can not only predict the basic, physical outcomes of our disputes, we can predict the moral outcomes as well. We can deduce whether or not performing a certain action on a living being will hurt it. Most other creatures do not perceive the moral outcomes of their actions, and so do not see their behavior as cruel. They can not conceptualize "cruel."

So when a person chooses to leave someone alone rather than hurt them, are they using their higher brain? I think so. Humans are governed by a certain set of morals and values; we perceive certain actions, such as torture and murder, to be "wrong." Why? Because our morals tell us that intentionally hurting another person is a bad thing to do. Intentionally caused physical pain is disturbing to most humans, partly because we live in a complex, structured society and we are no longer doing whatever we can to survive in the wilderness. 

Which brings me back to the original problem: Peace is harder to enact than war because people have to think and exercise self-control rather than lash out based on their instincts and feelings. If one is threatened or challenged, inaction is frustrating because their instincts tell them to fight back. But acting on what their rationalizing, complex brains are telling them rather than what their instincts are telling them sets humans apart from other animals. We can enact a peace. We can stop a war. We just have to will ourselves to do it. We are not ruled by are baser minds; all that we are, all that we have created, is based on our the complex signals from our highly developed neocortexes. 

WA 3 draft 1

What about peace? 

Well, what about it? Peace and war are usually considered opposites. However, I believe that war is a much simpler side of human nature than peace. I am not criticizing peace; on the contrary, I think it is a very good thing for humans to practice. We should do it more often. But I am also saying that it takes a great deal of thought and self-restraint to practice peace than it does to wage a war. You don't have to do any thinking to pick up a rock and throw it at someone who makes you angry. You do have to think, however, in order to not pick up that rock and just walk away. Therein lies the problem.

Animals are often at war with each other, for different reasons - leadership of a group, mates, territorial disputes, ect. But this is natural behavior for them. Fighting is a basic instinct, a way to defend or prove yourself. The one who wins the fight gets the prize. Animals are much more simple-minded than humans in their pursuit of basic needs. If someone has what you want, you fight for it. You do not negotiate or offer to share. 

However, most animals (sea mammals and primates excluded) lack a developed neocortex. This is the part of the brain that can plan and rationalize. This is the logical portion of the brain. Because most animals don't have it, they can't predict the outcomes of their disputes beyond the very obvious - that they will catch their prey or something like that. But animals who do have neocortexes are capable of reasoning, and developing sophisticated rules and language. Humans have the largest neocortexes. We can not only predict the basic, physical outcomes of our disputes and actions, we can also predict the moral outcomes. We can deduce whether or not performing a certain action on another living being will hurt it. Most other creatures don't bother with the moral outcomes, such as when a cat plays with a wounded mouse. They don't see their behavior as cruel; they are not capable of such developed thought.

So when you choose to leave someone alone rather than hurt them, are you using your higher brain? I think so. We humans are governed by a set of morals and values; we perceive certain actions, such as torture, as wrong. Why? Because our morals tell us that intentionally hurting another person is a bad thing to do. Another person's pain disturbs us and, because we live in such a complex and sophisticated civilization, seems wrong because we are no longer simply a group of primates fending for ourselves in the wilderness. 

Which brings me back to my original problem: Peace is harder to enact than war because peace requires more brainpower and self-restraint than simply lashing out based on your emotions and instincts. Inaction is frustrating to people after a war; often they feel the enemies have not been punished enough or that the enemy has wronged them too much to be left alone. But acting on what are rational, analyzing, complex minds are telling us what to do than what our honest, simplistic instincts are telling us to do is what sets us apart from other animals. We can enact a peace. We can stop a war. We just have to will ourselves to do it. We are not ruled by our baser minds; we are the products of a large and complex neocortex! Let's use it more often.